PROPHET TB JOSHUA AND THE YOUTHS

If there is one issue from which the TB Joshua Ministries and the SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS cannot be divorced as a result of its implications on the growth and development of the modern society, it is the total commitment to the enhancement of the life of the youths. The church believes in the youth for a number of reasons. One of these is that they are the proverbial leaders of the future; the holders of the destiny of the society which has to be nourished and fully developed on behalf of tomorrow.

The youths are acknowledged experimentalists who have often tested their talents in different ways and especially in the contemporary context, mostly negatively. The truth is that the issue of morality has been pushed off the ideology of most youths because they are engaged in drugs, prostitution, cultism, ritualism, armed robbery, kidnapping and other forms of misbehaviour. The society now breeds moral vampires, experts in destructive tendencies which tell of the low quality of spirituality in the society.

Parents have failed in their duty of moulding the social ethics of the youths; most of them do not ever wish to sacrifice their time to training the children in the way of God. Indeed, poverty and the need to meet up with the dictates of societal expectations have dealt lethal blows to the attitude of these parents. Today, the church is expected to be profoundly involved in opening the minds and hearts of the kids to progressive ideals and frame of morality, which will dictate the tempo and temper of their moral choices.

However, most churches are not paying a good attention to the children, especially with regard to their moral upbringing, education, occupational experiences and peer groupings. The SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS has seen the need to re-orientate the youths by developing them spiritually and morally. And this attitude is largely informed by the need to expose them to godly ideals and humane values and virtues which must pull them to a path of progressive testimony.

One way this has been demonstrated is in the church’s youth being actively involved in diverse activities which make the church unique in wholesome spiritual management. The choristers and field workers are mostly youths. The administrative ministrations are elaborately championed by most youths. Most workers are youths who are determined to be groomed along the accepted path of Christ. There is a thriving youth department which sufficiently organises the workers, inspiring them to be actively involved in the management of the strong church.

Prophet TB Joshua, the General Overseer of the Ministry is one spiritual leader, who has always taken a peculiarly unique interest in the affairs of the youth single-handedly. He keeps training most youths at every level of education within and outside Nigeria with his own resources. He feeds thousands of children of the poor and the helpless, offering to pay hospital bills for them when sick, or offering scholarships, which immensely assist the parents.

Students – the blind, the lame, deaf and dumb, the abandoned and orphans – have kept enjoying the generousity of this Man of God for many years. And such children may have come from different ethnic backgrounds in Nigeria, parts of Africa, Europe and America. Thousand of such kids with famished backgrounds had even graduated from higher institutions and are doing well in the society, in their professions. Such help has been extended often to athletes (especially, the physically challenged, most of who are rather abandoned by the society, even after demonstrating their skills in the field). The SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS has also been favourably disposed to distributing food stuff to the kids through their parents. An example of this unusual gesture happened in December 2011, when TB Joshua simply sent trucks full of bags of rice as well as money to violence-ravaged states of Nigeria, such as Plateau, Niger, Bornu, Yobe and Kaduna, among others.

The Clinique Emmanuel also exists in the Haiti, attending to the clinical needs of kids, while the church also has schools which are being maintained for children in the earthquake –ravaged country. Through the spiritual SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS has done this at a more universal level. This naturally leads us to another aspect of the church’s activities: the acts of deliverance. Youths (including former militants in the troubled Niger Delta region of Nigeria), have been perpetually delivered from spirits of killing, cultism, drunkenness, brutality and ritualism.

Indeed, the spirits of armed robbery, kidnapping, internet fraud, prostitution, drug consumption and general social waywardness, have been continually expelled from these youths. The Man of God not only destroys the fire of such destructive spirits, he equally gives money and the Holy Bible to the delivered souls in order to help them start a new life. Many marriages, involving the youth and elders, had been restored. The Man of God develops the hidden spiritual potentials of most youths in the church, while inspiring them to embrace the culture of morality, faithfulness, truth, openness, sincerity, humility, obedience, simplicity and prayerfulness. The bottom-line is that SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS is one of the few churches in the world committed to youth development.

Prophet TB Joshua has an attitude: he always shares the joy of his annual birthday in the midst of the youth, who celebrate with him in the church for merry-making. For such a celebrity to come down to their level gives them a sense of belonging and motivation, justifying why they must work very hard to attract the blessing of God to themselves. Such youths, including the physically challenged and dwarfs, from different parts of the world, often receive memorable gifts.

Children of the disabled also enjoy the benefits of free school uniforms, books and school bus to ease their movement to and from school, while the Ministry in collaboration with Emmanuel TV partners also provide medical care to the inmates of these rehabilitation homes. The Man in the Synagogue and his unique ministry have proved to be a reliable pathway to reaching God and this reality is not lost on the youths.

Hundreds of youths are it the employ of the church, while some are active prayer warriors who serve as sources of inspiration to other youths. The church headquarters and its branches all over the world also care for senior citizens, who are now too old and weak to fend for them. TB Joshua and his ministry stand out to be appreciated by all positive-thinking individuals, daily dreaming of the triumph of good deeds in the service of humanity.

By Isaac Ojo-Eleka, Ezekiel Fajenyo & Sunday Patrick

TB JOSHUA, UPTHEGROVE AND THE REST OF US

His sheer presence in the SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS headquarters to fully participate in the Easter celebrations on Sunday, 8^th April 2012, created much interest. As he was called to the pulpit by the Man in the Synagogue, Prophet TB Joshua, the 83-year old cleric, CS Upthegrove, still full of vibrancy and spiritual power, moved with an agility unbelievable of his age, as he was set to speak on elements of vision which was revealed to him 40 years ago on TB Joshua and his ministry.

Naturally endowed with spiritual grace and self-assuredness, Pastor CS Upthegrove was filled with the spirit of innate happiness as he looked around and asked the enchanted congregation to praise the Lord. A man called to preach the Word of God from age 15, this respected American had served with the likes of AA Allen, Oral Roberts and Robert Schuller in the work of the ministry, moving from one part of the world to the other. He has always been happy and fulfilled, doing what he has been called to do and today that he still pastors the AA Allen Church in America, he is determined to remain faithful to His grace and work till he breathed his last, so he told the congregation.

Pastor Upthegrove had come to share that significant moment of grace with TB Joshua, the General Overseer of the SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS and to announce to the world that he was told in a vision that TB Joshua is one of the twelve end-time prophets anointed by God for His service. Thereafter, the seasoned minister of God made a short speech, followed by the handing over of some AA Allen’s mementoes, suggesting confirmation of the continuity of service in the Lord, on TB Joshua.

Referring to the 1960s when the world was yet to know scientific technology, especially the internet, this father of four said serious ministry work involved movement from place to place and it was then AA Allen had prophesied to him, during one of their missionary journeys that a prophet would soon emerge, greater in impact and spiritual strength than all of them; and that the prophet would preach to a multitude of people all over the world and be widely accepted.

The prophecy came to be confirmed to him a few years back, when God told him in a vision that TB Joshua was the man referred to, earlier, by AA Allen (himself an outstanding and universally acknowledged God’s General. God had made it clear, as he prepared to leave America for Nigeria, on this unique occasion of Jesus’ resurrection that he was actually going to a Holy land and this was repeated to him as he landed in the Synagogue premises. Upthegrove said he had prayed earnestly that God should make provision for him to be physically present, as he had also been encouraged by what he encountered on the Emmanuel TV over the years, where unusual deliverances and prophecies happened and being watched by millions across the globe – men, women, young and old, the rich and the poor.

The writer and well-travelled minister of God said, “TB Joshua is from God; this is my prophet”, and that was why he picked up the challenge to personally visit Nigeria. It must be noted that TB Joshua, who has been ostracised by the Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria (PFN), since his venture into the ministry, was now gloriously crowned by one of the world-acclaimed God’s General, AA Allen and his disciple, CS Upthegrove. We are not surprised as TB Joshua himself always declares that God’s authority is better, greater and more profitable than man’s majority and that what people do not understand they call names, but what they understand they destroy. Upthegrove had narrated his personal experiences over the years in his ministry, his encounters with angels and the resultant spiritual empowerment. This credible personality of enviable versatility said God had mandated him to present some AA Allen’s treasured articles to TB Joshua to remind him always of the need to hold on fast to the faith and be more exemplary in performance and character. These included the symbolic personal stamp of Allen’s used on every letter, especially between 1965 and 1968; the “Miracle Magazine”, published in 1964 and photographs of the Miracle Valley in Arizona, California, USA. Though personally handed over to Pastor CS Upthegrove by AA Allen, it was his desire to also pass the “seal of authority” to another prophet of God.

The Easter celebration 2012 was thus of dual spiritual significance. It was to commemorate the resurrection of the Lord, Jesus Christ, as a symbol of God’s acceptance of man and for His salvation. In the SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS, it was a season of authentic confirmation of TB Joshua as a strong tool fashioned by God to be one of the twelve end-time apostles and it was significant that the message was delivered to a God’s minister in far-away land. Who knows whether such a vision has been shown earlier to some of the “Pentecostal rascals” in Nigeria, but out of unbridled hate and envy, they buried the report? But God in His wisdom went to reveal it to one of His highly revered Generals, AA Allen, who in turn passed the information to Upthegrove before he passed on.

The awards to Prophet TB Joshua will not end, really, and this may be confirmed with the recent proclamations by CS Upthegrove, the irrepressible man of God.

By Isaac Ojo-Eleka, Ezekiel Fajenyo & Sunday Patrick

  

PROPHET T.B JOSHUA ON THE RELEVANCE OF THE HOLY BIBLE

      PROPHET T.B JOSHUA ON THE RELEVANCE OF THE HOLY BIBLE

By Isaac Ojo-Eleka, Ezekiel Fajenyo & Sunday Patrick

A critical problem in Christianity today has to do with the use of the Holy Bible. Most Christians are not knowledgeable on the fact that the Bible is the Word of God. The problem has to do with how to translate same as a tool towards enriching their spiritual being. Most often, the Holy Bible (which has appeared in different editions over the centuries) has been handled by people in different ways reflecting their “understanding” of its meaning and relevance as well as its use.

 It is not uncommon to see people wrapping the Bible under the fold of their pillows when sleeping with the strong belief that such can massacre satanic influences or do damage to unseen forces but on dangerously attempting evils on people. Copies of the Bible are kept in corners of personal rooms, on vehicles or offices with a view to warding off evil machinations which might be orchestrated by forces of demon.

It is also the case that some Christians know the Bible from the books –Genesis to Revelation –and can generously quote therefrom, to substantiate religious arguments, preaching, sermons, and writings. But this quality is not to be manipulated by Christians as even some anti-Christ are prolific in their knowledge of the Holy Book. They often use it to establish their own frame work of thoughts and actions.

  Deep and long as its history and developments have been over the centuries, the Bible is simply seen as the work and word of God with which  man encounters the supernatural father in heaven and the tool through which he identifies with the holiness of the creator. But the Bible is a record of history, places, preachings, rare encounters, temptations and trials and the developments of Christianity itself.

 Powerful, unchangeably true and believably inspiring and spiritually motivating, the Bible is the sole assurance of the details of heavenly existence of the place of God and His Son, Jesus Christ  and the expectations of  a Christian who  wishes to live  according to the rules and laws tailored along accepted commandments, visions, wisdom and spirituality. To every Christian, the Holy Bible is undisguisedly sacred unlike other books, just as the Quran is a sacred book to the Muslims.

 It is a source of confidence, hope, vision and assurance of miracles and deliverance. Yet, not every Christian truly knows the very depth of the Holy Bible’s strength and dimensions as a spiritual statement, while seeing it as a manifestation of God’s message to man on earth through which he could attain salvation. Man is still very far away from mastering the details of its reality.

 Prophet T.B. Joshua, the General Overseer of the Synagogue, Church of All Nations (SCOAN), spoke recently on the authentic relevance of the Holy Bible to a Christian life. On Sunday, 26^th February, 2012, while addressing the over 10,000- strong congregation in the church headquarters, he explained that the Bible is not only the Word of God but the voice the Holy Spirit through whom God speaks to man.

Carefully selecting his words to explain the spiritual potentials of the Holy Bible, he insisted that the Bible is unique and it exists to strengthen people’s relationship with God. It should mean everything to a living Christian, because according to him, it is a special gift to man and man is expected to read it every time, not only  to commit it to memory, but as an integral part of your being. As gift to me, it rejoices the heart. It keeps me from sin and it is enduring. It keeps me from error. It is profitable”.

 Each of these words means a great deal in the life of any Christian who sees the Bible as an expression of faith; The Holy Bible is a solidifier of faith; a symbolic seal between man and God in their expected relationship; an engine room of spiritual purity and belief and instrument of the expression of confidence in the holiness, power, purity, dependability and faithfulness of God all the time and to enjoy the fulfilment which comes through its messages (all of which bear spiritual essence).

The closer a Christian is to the Bible and its messages, the closer he/she is to God, especially if it is memorized in part or whole which is the essence of its purificatory particularity. It is a gift of a spirit which has to be handled with tenderness and care because it is a tool of defence in  moments as well as a healer which banishes sin and its effects from the life of man. This is the reality of its profitability: it is financially energy-giving, spiritually inspiring and emotionally motivating.

 The Bible is a resourceful material for every Christian for the enrichment of his spiritual life and closeness to God; especially in case it makes life abundant since every Christian’s “life depends on it”, being a product of the “Holy Spirit” who breathed through

men the holy scripture. The scripture is authored by the Holy Spirit, it means to quote the Bible, is to quote the Holy Spirit, and the kind of feelings which comes through such an experience is unlike when  one reads other books such as  literature and history which have no direct inspirations.

Prophet T.B-Joshua, a world renown deliverance minister and foremost preacher, told the overflowing crowd that anyone who engages in reading the Bible is reading the Holy Spirit who is an integral part of  a Christian, because “our lives depend on it”. It provides an answer to all difficulties of life, because as the voice of the Holy Spirit with eternal qualities, it is a mirror through which hidden realities are understood and mastered while life is being powerful deciphered, unexplained Spiritual and fed on.

 Issues of life -frustrations, Spiritual uncertainties and season of dilemma, ill-health and confusion are carefully explained. The book creates a spendable part of holiness, purity, cleanness, faithfulness, discipline and spiritual maturity; it removes man from sin and error, stabilises his spiritual life and strengthens his human value orchestrated by a strong faith in the power of Christ. Prophet T.B Joshua is correct to observe, therefore, that every Christian must “talk scripture in every situation”, because it is a dependable source of empowerment through the knowledge of God.

The Bible strengthens faith and dishonours falsehood, deception, ill-virus and spiritual important which is why is must be thoroughly understood in its deep symbolic signification. Christians are supposed to have a unique identity because they are created to be special and are expected to be happy in the knowledge of the truth. As special beings, he maintained, Christians are not known to admire experiences of impossibilities because everything associated with God is about possibilities, though being a Christian does not necessarily remove one from the plagues of sickness, pain, poverty and trials.

 Though these problems exist to kill and to destroy people, they are sources of promotion, joy and fulfilment for committed Christians. As believers, Christians are expected to know their Bible and be sinless; they should be doers of the word and the Bible must be committed to memory as an integral part of the life of a Christian. And understandably, there will be experienced “an uncommon plan of greatness. Such a person could experience a vision, because the Bible is a mirror of the truth. The Bible is a tool in the hands of the Holy Ghost; it is an instrument  and weapon to fight against isolation, sickness, poverty and demon and a resource material for attracting blessings. Significantly, according to the respected prophet, a Christian who depends on the Bible should be able to ‘’ ask God to draw you close to Him’’ because  “this is the greatest and most important prayer” God can be found in the Bible, person who attests to the fact that scripture has to be quoted in every situation as a demonstration of one’s deep knowledge of God prescriptions for a good life.

The Bible, therefore, links man with God directly, being charged with the power of anointing. As a source of empowerment, the Bible creates room for the mastery of faithfulness, forgiveness, generousity, grace, goodness and all other virtues associated with the Almightiness of Christ, the feeling of moral ugliness and spiritual impotence it banished with the rightful knowledge of God through the Bible. Prophet TB Joshua said, “I know where I belong” should be pronounced in every situation as a Christian, and should be influenced by a change in words and thoughts, especially with a new feeling that “to His power, all things are possible,” if you know where you belong, you will begin to talk as a victor; a true knowledge of the Bible makes a Christian a victor; he becomes triumphant over issues of life which may test his spiritual being.

 The Bible is, therefore, far bigger and richer in orientation, meaning and significance than the sheer tool to which it is being made by people who squeeze it under the pillow or place it in corners of the room. Unless it is well used, it will never achieve any significant effects. People will not be close to God and cannot experience victory when challenged by critical situations of life.

HEARTLESS,EVIL PAINS OF MARRIAGE (R.I.P Ogochukwu Onuchukwu (Nee Onugu). 23/10/1976 - 27/2/2012)

Ogochukwu Onuchukwu (Nee Onugu). 23/10/1976 - 27/2/2012

I don't know how to introduce what you are about to read...it's very chilling, quite disturbing, and extremely heart wrenching. If this doesn't make you cry, nothing else will. 
A dead woman, Ogochukwu Onuchukwu (she died last month) shares her story and writes a letter to her husband from the grave. I culled the letter from her WEBSITE and wanted to share it because it's something we all need to read and hopefully someone will learn from it. Read it below...
My mum is crying. I can see her from here. She has aged since the last time I saw her. Why does she look so old and why is she so thin? Can someone console her? Can someone make her stop crying?
I try to get up but I can’t. I try to reach for her, but I’m stuck where I am. It is very dark in here, and very cold, so very cold. 
What am I doing here? Where is everybody? Where are my children? I begin to panic, to struggle; I want to get out of this dark room. 
I can hear Uzo calling. She’s calling my name. Then, I see mum again. And I hear Uzo again. I don’t see my children. Where are my children? I can’t see beyond the walls of this dark and cold room. 
This just messed with my head...I hope you fair better. Continue reading...


Uzo calls again. 

She sounds desperate to rouse me from my sleep. I am struggling to wake but I can’t. I open my eyes and they shut of their own accord. 
I am powerless to keep them from shutting. And I find as soon as I stop struggling, my sleep becomes sweet repose. Suddenly I don’t want to wake from it just yet. It is peaceful.

I see mum again, and I see Uzo. Uzo keeps calling. She won’t stop calling. She is crying too, just like mum. 

Can someone bring Kamsi and Amanda to me? Can someone bring my babies to me? I need to hug them, Kamsi, especially. Is he crying too and calling out for me? Does he understand that I am gone? Kamsi will miss me. 

He is a special child, you know; Kamsiyochukwu - my son and my first child. 

I prayed and longed for his birth. He was the blessing from above that would seal Kevin’s love for me and give me some footing in his home and some acceptance from his family. 

Before Kamsi, I was a nobody in Kevin’s home. I was born the last of nine children, the baby of the family. I was used to love and affection. I was everyone’s baby. I grew up knowing that everyone had my back, I grew up knowing the safety and security of being the baby of the home. You may then understand my shock when I stepped out of my home and into new territory with the man of my dreams only to find that I was really not as special as I had been made to believe. I look back to that day when Kevin took me home to introduce me to my new family. The cold and rude shock of the welcome his brother’s wife gave me set off an alarm in my head. 

These people didn’t think I was special. In fact, her first words were, ”Kevin, ebe kwa ka isi dute nka?” (Kevin, “Where on earth did you bring this one from?) That would be the first time I would be addressed as “this one” and from then on, I grappled with the realization that I was not welcome in my new home.

I remember my first Christmas at Ihiala as a new bride. My brother-in-law’s wife would sneer and clap and refer to me as “Ndi ji ukwu azo akwu” (the people who process palm fruits with their bare feet). I knew she meant my impoverished home town of Nsukka. She would sing to me all day long telling me the only reason why their brother married me was because of my beauty and complexion.

Now, I lie here and I wonder if I was in my right mind to ignore the several other alarms over my 12- year union with Kevin.

I had to ignore them, I told myself. I had already taken my vows to be with Kevin until death did us part.

They never really wanted me, I can now see. But I was too blinded by love to realize that. I needed to do something to cement Kevin’s heart with mine. I needed to remain Kevin’s wife and to prove to the world that indeed Love would conquer all.

When after one year of marriage there were still no children, the painful journey that sent me to my grave started. I went from specialist to specialist, ingested every kind of pill that promised to boost my fertility. As my desperation grew, so did pressure from Kevin’s family. My horror-movie life story started playing out; the horror-movie life that has sent me to an early and cold grave from where I write this letter to my husband.

*********************************************************************************
My sweet Kevin,


We started to fight over little things. The fights were worse after you visited home or attended any of your numerous family meetings. You came home one evening and asked me to move out of the bedroom we both shared and into the guestroom downstairs. The next time you returned from the meeting, you tied me up with a rope and used your belt on me. No one heard my screams.

I remember when you told me that your family had asked you to remarry. You showed me documents of all your numerous landed property including the house we lived in. Your brother was listed as next of kin. When I asked you about it, your answer rocked the ground I was standing on. You said, “What have you to show that entitles you to any stake in this household?” You were referring to my barreness.

It is funny how to my family and friends, I was the beautiful and loving Ogo, whilst to you and your family I was a worthless piece of rag. You called me barren. I could have fled but your love and acceptance was of more worth to me than the love and admiration of the world outside our home. I desperately sought to be loved by you, Kevin. 
In your family’s presence I felt unworthy, unloved and unwanted. Yet, I stayed on. I would make you love me one way or the other and I knew that one sure way would 
be to produce a child, an heir for you. That was the most important thing to you.

I began the numerous procedures, painful procedures, including surgery. I gave myself daily shots. At some point the needles could no longer pierce my skin. My skin had toughened to the piercing pain of needles.

After seven years of marriage, our prayers were answered. God blessed us with our son Kamsiyochukwu, which means ‘’Just as I asked of the Lord’’. God had intervened and miracles were about to start happening because for the first time in seven years, my mother-in-law called me. Finally I was home. I had been accepted. I was now a woman, a wife and a mother. Finally there was peace. Kamsi will be four in November.

The miracles stayed with me because 18 months later through another procedure, Chimamanda was born. Her birth was bitter sweet for me. Sweet because you Kevin, my husband, and my in-laws would love me more for bearing a second child, but bitter because this particular birth almost cost me my life. The doctors had become very concerned. You see, I had developed too many complications from all the different procedures I had undergone in the journey to have children and these were beginning to get in the way of normal everyday living. I developed conditions that had almost become life threatening. So the doctors sent me off with my new bundle of joy and with a stern warning not to try for another child as I may not be so lucky. 

I chuckled, almost gleefully. Why would I want to try for a third child? God had given me a boy and a girl, what more could I ask for. I was only ever so thankful to God. 
Kevin, you and I gave numerous and very generous donations to different churches in thanksgiving to God. All was well. I was happy and fulfilled. Kevin, you loved me again. Your family accepted me. Life was good. And all was quiet again. …………………… For a while.

Then fate struck me a blow. As if to remind me that my stay in your house was temporary and was never really going to be peaceful, Kamsi – our son, our first fruit, my pride and joy and the child that gave me a place in my husband’s home, began to show signs of slowed development; the visits to the doctors resumed, this time on account of Kamsi. 
We started seeing therapists. After we’d been from one doctor to another I decided I had to resort to prayer. I was frightened. I was terrified. I was threatened. I started to feel unwell. I had difficulty breathing. I needed to see my doctors, Kamsi too. He wasn’t doing too well either. He had difficulty with his speech. He was slow to comprehend things. I did not know for sure what was wrong with him but I knew all was not well. Not with him and not with me. We 
were denied visas to the USA because we had overstayed on our last trip on account of Kamsi’s treatments. So whilst we waited for a lawyer to help us clear up the immigration issues with America, I applied for a UK visa and sought help in London. But by then, trouble had reared its head at home, again. 

Kevin, you had again become very impatient with me. My fears were fully alive again. The battles it seemed I had won were again in full rage. My husband, in your irritable impatience and anger, you told me to my face that our son, my Kamsi, was worthless to you. You said he was abnormal. You said that our daughter, my Amanda, was a girl and that you had no need for a girl child because she would someday be married off. I remember, in pain, that you didn’t attend Amanda’s christening because you were upset with me. You told me your mother was more important to you than “THESE THINGS” I brought to your house. You were referring to our children, were you not? “THESE THINGS”.

My heart bled. I wept bitterly. Then I quickly calmed my fears by telling myself that you were under a lot of stress at work and that you were also probably reacting to all the money that you had spent on my treatments. Surely, all that was getting to you? Even when you threatened me with a knife, twice you did that, I still felt unworthy of you and very deserving of your hatred. Even when you would say: “I will kill you and nothing will happen because you have no one to fight for you”, I kept on struggling to get you to love me because, Kevin, your validation was important to me

You had refused to give me money for my medical trip to London. I knew then it was because you had your hands full with caring and catering for everybody who was dear to you. Your finances were stretched. I thought then that in time you would come around.

My health continued to get worse. Eventually, I made it to London. After extensive consultations and tests, I was given a definitive diagnosis. My condition was life threatening. It was from this time, when it was clear that I required surgery to save me life that I came face to face with a different kind of war from our home. 

Kevin, you stopped speaking with me. I was in pain, in anguish and in tears. I didn’t understand what was happening. I had stayed three weeks in London and Kevin, you never called, sent a text or inquired how I was faring. You stopped taking my calls. Instead I got a call from my cousin in whose care I had left my children. She was frantic with worry because there was no food in the house for the children to eat; Kevin you had refused to provide food for our children. Kevin, you had also refused to pay for Kamsi’s home schooling.

Then Kevin, I received that e-mail from you. The only communication from you for the entire period I was in London. 
Do you remember? It was an angry email. You berated me for putting your integrity at stake at your work place. Apparently your employers had called a hospital in London to inquire about me and were told that no one by my name was ever their patient. I later found out that you had given the wrong hospital name to your employers. Do you remember, Kevin?

For the first time in my 12 year marriage, the alarm bells in my head began to sound real. For the first time in 12 years, I felt real anger stir up in my heart. Kevin, I was angry because you paid no heed to the hospital where your wife was at in London. You had no clue and cared little about what I was going through. Yet you would berate me for putting your INTEGRITY at work at stake. Your integrity was your primary concern, not my health.

Then it hit me! All these years I was trying to be all I could be for you, Kevin, to make you happy, to please you, Kevin, ……… you actually hated me. You didn’t want me in your life. The signs were all there. Your family had showed me from day one that they didn’t want me. I was the object of a hatred that I could not explain. I 
couldn’t understand why.

Then I saw the hand writing on the wall, all those many things that went on. You even sold my car whilst I was still lying on a hospital bed in London, with no word to me. I was not to learn of what you had done until I returned to Nigeria. The doctors had allowed me to return to prepare for surgery. 

Kevin, do you remember that on my return I gave you a pair of shoes I had bought for you? Kevin, my husband, do you remember hurling those shoes at me? Kevin, do you remember me breaking down in tears? Kevin, do you remember me asking you that night, many times over, why you hated me so much, what I had done to make you hate me as much as you did?

“You are disturbing me, and if you continue, I`ll move out and inform the company that I no longer live in the house. Then they will come and drive you away”. Kevin, my husband, that was your response to me. Did you know then I only had days to live? Is that why you told me that would be the last time I would see you physically? Did you know it would only be a few more hours?

I still had a surgery to go through. Kevin, since you wanted no part in it, I had contacted the medical officer in your company directly for referrals. I left Eket for Lagos on Saturday. That same day I consulted with the specialist surgeon and surgery was scheduled for Monday morning.

In those final hours, as I prepared for my surgery, I was alone, my spirit was broken. I had lost all the fight in me. Kevin, I knew that nothing I did or said would turn you heart toward me, and I had nobody for whom you had any regards who would speak up for me.

In those final hours, Kevin, I called you. This was Sunday morning, less than 24 hours to my death. Do you remember, Kevin? I called you to share what the specialist surgeon had said. I was still shaking from your screams on the phone when I got in here. You did not want me to bother you, you screamed. I should go to my brothers and sisters, you screamed. I should pay you back all the money you gave me for my treatment in London, you screamed. Kevin, did you know that would be my last conversation with you? My last conversation with you, my husband, my love, my life, ended with you banging the phone on me.

Recalling the abusive words, the spitting, the beating, the bruising, the knifing, and the promise that I would not live long for daring to forget to buy garden eggs for your mother, an insult you vowed I would pay for with my life ……., I knew then it was over for me. There was no rationalizing needed any longer. Even the blind could see ………. You did not want me in your life.

I went in for surgery on Monday morning, February 27, 2012, and after battling for several hours, I yielded my spirit.

Kevin, my husband, I lived my promise to God. The promise I made on the day I wedded you.

For better ………………………… For worse
For richer …………………………. For poorer
In Sickness ………………………. And in health
To love ………………………….. And to cherish

Till DEATH US DO PART!

And it has.

NOW I AM DEAD!!!!!!!

Just as your mum predicted ….. Her cold words follow me to morgue. She swore to me that I would leave her son’s house dead or alive. I couldn’t leave whilst I still breathed. It had to be through death, and death it has become.

Kevin, you are FREE! And, so am I.

Your freedom is temporary. Mine is eternal.

Whilst you still have freedom, remember Kamsi and Chimamanda.


Lovingly yours until death,
Ogo.


I am gone. Gone forever. But if one woman, just one woman will learn from my story, then maybe I would not have gone in vain.

My heart weeps for my children, my mummy, my sisters and my brothers, my extended family. These ones, I was a gift to. These ones, they loved me. These ones, they wanted me. These ones, they needed me. These ones, they wish I had spoken out earlier.
*** 

Written by someone who was part of her life and witnessed her struggles. RIP Ogo.